Thursday, November 30, 2006

what happens at the party...

Well the plan was to have it stay at the party, but that didn't quite happen.

You see Gracie and I were in Ottawa over the weekend to celebrate my nephew's first birthday. We had a ball. Her cousin, or the boy with every toy imaginable, is a lot of laughs. And his monkey-themed party, complete with all the trimmings was every one year old's dream.

Since it was a special occasion all the rules went out the window. No afternoon nap, eating way too many fruit kebobs, even eating cake, and staying up hours past bedtime. I don't think Gracie has had that much fun - ever. Smiling, giggling and so much attention, it was pure bliss. We decided we should get her a season's pass to "Rubyland" for her birthday. (Ruby's the dog - and Gracie adores her.)

But after all the toys, the treats, the cake, the dog and the attention the party weekend had to came to an end. Happily exhausted we flew back to Toronto.

We thought we were in the clear. What happened at the party stayed at the party, just like Grandpa's card said. But then the unexpected happened. First to Gracie, then to me. It would have been okay, but Daddy's smart.

Gracie got sick on Monday. Lethargic, feverish and just not herself. Kinda like a hangover. Then on Tuesday I was out with a twenty four hour bug. The jig was up. We had to confess everything to Daddy, especially since we passed on the flu to him today. Uh oh.

But now that the sickness is pretty much out of all of our systems, I think it is fair to say it was worth it.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

one year ago

Happy birthday W. J. One year ago today you had us all in a panic. You little trickster. We weren't expecting you until mid-January, but you had other plans. Big plans.

The day before you were born, your Mom wasn't feeling so good. We should have known something was up, but we missed all of your hints. I even told your Mom to go to the U2 concert. Good thing she didn't take my advice!

Gramma called early Saturday morning to tell us your Mom and Dad were at the hospital. She said you were on your way. I couldn't believe it. It was too early, way too early for you to come. She was worried. So was I. Even Uncle M. was nervous.

I called your Mom. I just needed to hear her voice and make sure she was okay. She was so brave. While she was talking to me she had a contraction. Wow, this was real, you were on your way.

After hearing that, I had to be there. So we hopped in the car. It was the quickest drive to Ottawa. We didn't speak. We didn't even listen to the radio. We just drove. There was snow and sleet and we couldn't even use our phone. Finally, just outside the city limits we got the news, you had arrived. Everyone was fine. Big sigh of relief. First we were relieved, then happy and then so excited to meet you.

I ran up to your Mom's room when we got to the hospital. I was a bit nervous, I didn't know what to expect. Your parents looked fabulous. I have never seen them look so happy. They were over the moon. Your Dad told me your Mom was great and that she made your delivery look easy.

They gave us all the details of your arrival. What was your big hurry bud? Only three pushes and you were out! Your Dad said you must have big plans because you were in such a rush to meet everyone.

Next it was time to meet you. The NCIU is a serious place W.J. Nurses, doctors, worried parents, lots of machines beeping and of course the tiniest, most special babies. But none as special as you. Your Dad pointed you out and we just stood there looking at you. We didn't even talk. I couldn't believe I was looking at my nephew. Finally a boy in our family! I was so proud, and full of love. Now W.J. you are the cutest, most handsome, beautiful boy but you were pretty banged up when we first met. Your body was all newish- pink but your head was purple. Yep purple. Good thing you were so adorable, that it didn't matter.

Before I left I told you, you were a luckiest, little boy because you had such a special Mom and Dad. They were already head over heals in love with you. And so was I.

I love you W.J.

Monday, November 20, 2006

nanny 911

I had a terrible sleep last night. And the night before and well ever since I came back from my parents house. Ahh I wish I was still there. Anyway the reason I'm not sleeping is STRESS. I have made the decision to go back to work. There I said it.

So now comes the gruelling task of deciding on childcare. It makes me tense up just typing childcare. Way back when Gracie was just a few months old I called a daycare and put her on a list. It was ridiculous. We had just visited friends and their new babe and they were told us about this great daycare, rated one of the top in the city that their daughter was going to. WHAATTT? So the stress started way back then.

Flash forward, I toured the daycare a few weeks ago. I must admit, it was lovely. Homey. Clean. Safe. And the owner was wonderful. But as nice as it was, it just didn't work for me. When she explained how scheduled the children were, I had made my decision. What if Gracie doesn't want to go play with blocks from 10 to 10:15 and go outside from 10 - 10:45? What if its a snowy day and she's feeling cozy and wants to read books all day? Or if she has lots of energy and wants to play at the park for an extra half hour? Why does she need a school-like or worse work-like schedule at 12 months? She is most likely spend the better part of her youth in school, so why start so soon. I don't want her to burn out by the time she hits grade one! Okay enough of my daycare isn't for me. Enough said.

So option number two.....the nanny. I was once the women who said I would never leave my child with a nanny. Well I've changed my tune a bit. My husband and I are considering nanny sharing with our friends. The great, top rated daycare didn't work for them either. We thought we had it all figured out. A nanny was becoming available on our street. I had seen this women in the neighbourhood and thought it would be simple. Unfortunately the nanny just got a job as a nurse - great for her, bad for us. She did suggest her cousin, but the interview was disastrous. The cousin looked 12 and didn't even talk to the children. I could go on and on with the horrible details but it's too depressing. So after that episode, the four of us decided to get serious. We had a big chat about what we wanted, needed and basically what we wouldn't put up with.

Yesterday my husband, Gracie and I met two potential nannies. I must admit I was impressed. Both loved children, were kind and are eager to work. I feel a bit better about the process now. But boy is this difficult. I know new parents go through this all the time, but it's very nerve-wracking.

Any suggestions or personal stories are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

happy birthday gramma

Today is my mother's birthday. I won't reveal her age, but she's young and she looks even younger. She's a beauty. Great skin, great hair, great figure, great style. And that's just what you see.

She's also smart, funny, silly and kind. But I think the best thing about her is that she takes care in all she does. And I mean everything. From making gold angel wings for my grade three Christmas concert (when everyone else had silver), planting the prettiest window boxes, painting my living room and kitchen when I was pregnant to taking care of a sick friend, ahhh the list is never-ending. She always takes time to make things special. And we are all lucky to have her.

Have a wonderful birthday Mom. I love you.

oh and Gracie sends a special la, la, la for you........xoxo

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

this is happiness

driving home from Baba's house
good song on the radio
snow falling

I never want to leave.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

tick tock

Two months, eight weeks, 60 days...the countdown has officially begun.

Two months used to feel like forever, like remember when you were a kid and you had to wait two months for Christmas or your birthday. And in university a two month deadline was an eternity. Or that feeling in January of two more months of winter (I actually love that feeling - but you know what I mean).

Before Gracie, when I was working two week vacations were luxurious. One week heavenly. Hell I felt refreshed after a long weekend!

And of course time does fly when you are having fun, but time has taken on a whole new meaning these last ten and a half months.

15 days - amount of time Gracie was in the hospital, it felt like forever

3 months - sleepless nights felt like a blur, what is time? 3 am wasn't that much different from 3:00 pm

2 - 5 days - between Gracie's weigh in appointments - it took forever for her to gain a pound

teething time - way too long to little Gracie

6- 7pm - witching hour during the week of teething - felt like an eternity until Daddy came home and Gracie fell asleep

Thanksgiving weekend - fun, fun, fun.....but sadly was over in a blink

10 am - morning nap, super short hour, never long enough to cram in laundry, blogging, shower, well everything

Time, where does it go and how do I seem to waste so much of it? I'm scheduled to go back to work in two months. This stresses me out. I wish I could just hit pause.