great expectations

There are some things in this world you can count on....
I expect there will be traffic during rush hour,
I expect spring to follow winter,
I expect to get paid every two weeks,
but I was not expecting to become pregnant and let alone be expecting twins!

And I really wasn't expecting go back to work after a year long maternity leave pregnant. (Either was my boss - thank god he's such a good guy). These last three months have been quite unexpected. Now I know it sounds odd, when you hear that someone is surprised to learn they are pregnant. Was I taking any precautions not to get pregnant...well no, but still, who thought it would happen so fast? I sure didn't.

We wanted to have our children close together, that was the plan. But truthfully I'm not a planner, I'm a kinda a fly by the seat of my pants girl. Yeah, well those days are gone!!

So here's how we found out about our great expectations. I was just getting used to the fact that I was having another baby. And getting over the nausea and complete exhaustion. We were at an ultrasound appointment. My husband wasn't even going to come with me, but showed up at the last minute. There we were confidently sitting in the waiting room, looking at all the newly pregnant people, and thinking "they don't know what they're in for." We were calm. We'd been through all this before...old hat to us.

It was finally our turn for the ultrasound. No big deal. I'm lying there with my eyes closed, getting some rest. My husband is on his blackberry (bad I know). The technican asks me how I got pregnant. Ahh what? I stumble... I'm thinking the old fashioned way. She confirms my age and that I'm not on fertility drugs. We don't pay much attention. Then she makes reference to two babies, to the resident in the room. I agree thinking, "yes Gracie will still be a baby when the new one comes and so I will have two babies." Then she says, "No, I see two babies."

What??? This grabs our attention. My husband moves closer and says "check again." I can't speak.
"Yes, I'm seeing two babies. Twins"
I try to speak but I can't. I'm just stammering.
The resident asks what kind of car I drive.
"A volkswagen jetta."
"Not anymore," he laughs "You're getting a mini van."

The techician shows us the two babies and prints out some pictures. Yep, this is real. We are in shock. We go back to the waiting room in silence. No talking, just blank stares. A half hour ago, we were the confident couple now were are terrified.

That was eleven days ago. While I am no longer in shock, the news quite hasn't sunk in. Don't get me wrong I am not unhappy, just overwhlemed.

I was not expecting this.

seeing double

two
couple
pair
deux
duo
one + one
double
multiple
yep, you guessed it.

I'm expecting twins.

perfect ending

Organized. Calm. Relaxed.

I like this feeling. It's been far too long since I've felt like this. A perfect ending to the weekend and the right way to meet a new week.

Clean house.
Stocked fridge.
Fresh, crisp sheets.
Sleeping baby.
Happy husband.

Sometimes it's just the simplest little things that make all the difference. Ahh, I could get used to this. Oh and I did the most amazing yoga class today. Just what the doctor ordered.

All rewarded with beautiful flowers.

almost spring cleaning

I had to change the title of my post because I just looked out my window and saw a winter wonderland. I love snow, but I was starting to let myself dream of snowsuit-free bundle ups and boot-free mornings. Oh well. For all intents and purposes spring will spring in our house this weekend.

Slipcovers are getting washed and ironed,
winter sweaters are getting packed away,
front hall pictures are changing,
drawers are getting organized,
closets are getting de-cluttered and
all will be rewarded with fresh flowers.

It's sad but I need treats to motivate me to clean. I so wish I was a clean freak, but I'm not. I'm more like "oh no someone is coming over", better make the place sparkle. And this little place does need to shine this weekend. You see if I post it I will feel compelled to do it. That and the fact that our real estate agents is coming over to take a peek. Oh and the biggest reason, my mother. She's flying in tomorrow evening and staying to watch Gracie this week.
Yikes, I better get started!

things I learned from my nanny

It's been forever since I've been here and so much has happened since my last post. Ah where do I begin? Well for starters Gracie is no longer a baby, she's a full fledged walking, babbling, getting into everything toddler. I can't believe she's 15 months old today. Yikes!

The biggest change is that I am now a working mom. That's kind of a silly term isn't it? I mean all mothers whether they've gone back to their jobs or not, work their asses off. In fact I think it was much harder being at home then going to work. But being at home with Gracie, as difficult as it was at times was so much more fun and way more important. Which brings me to the title of my post - all the things my nanny has taught me in the last 3 months.

First off I love my nanny. It was a fairly long process trying to find her, but she was well worth it. I was so concerned about having a stranger in my house and more importantly caring for my daughter. And so many people (mostly my nosy mother's group) all had very strong opinions about the nanny vs daycare. Personally I don't care what you choose for your child, if it's right for your family great. Anyway enough of that rant.

five things my nanny has taught me.....(or why I love my nanny)

1. mismatched socks, crazy-coloured outfits and even staying in pajamas all day can ma your kid look even cuter

2. It's okay to let people see the real you, you know the one that's late for a meeting, crabby with her husband

3. Kids are messy. Even people without kids are messy and it's okay if other people sometime see this.

4. You can't control everything. Perfectly behaved child throws temper trantrums at inopportune times, it happens.

5. My nanny knows how to roll with the punches, and has taught me this valuable lesson (well sort of according to my husband) I still have a long way to go.

fa la la la la

lala la la. It's here. Not sure if it was the....

cold weather
burl ives in rudolph the red nose reindeer
gracie's santa pjs
hearing Paul McCartney's "simply having a wonderful Christmas time..."
gingerbread lattes
8 foot Christmas tree on our porch

Or it could have been all the Christmas cocktails I had last night. (Gracie's party isn't really the only party - but definitely the most n.b.) Whatever it was I am finally in the Christmas spirit. And it feels good. That and the fact that I'm not hung over. The Christmas elves must be smiling on me.

Time to trim the tree......

deck the halls

Not too long ago December was all about Christmas parties. Office parties, the staff party at our local pub, get togethers with friends...but this year there is only one party on my calendar. The most important party. Gracie's turning one and we're going all out.

I've created the most adorable invitations, ordered a fabulous cake, planned the menu and the loot bags, I'm even making "g"gingerbread cookies. I've been in serious prep mode for the last week and next week will be jammed packed getting all the little details ready for the big day. I love this stuff. It also keeps my mind off the fact that my mat leave is quickly coming to an end and the fact that my baby is well not quite a baby anymore.

Now I know what you are thinking...she's only one. She won't remember a thing. There will be plenty of time for parties when she's older. I realize all this. But we like to entertain, and this party is for us, all of us. Celebrating becoming a family and how much our lives have changed over the past year.

And on that note it's back to party planning....

a few hours

Last night was date night. I was hoping for dinner and a movie, but we ran out of time. My husband's schedule is crazy and well there are only so many hours in an evening!

It was about a two and a half hour escape, but well worth it. Casino Royale. I am a big Bond fan and the latest version did not disappoint. The blonde Bond is sexy. And Audioslave singing the theme song....how perfect. Ahhh two of my crushes, Chris Cornell and Daniel Craig. I love them.....

But not more than my two new favourite girls Anna and Hannah. We have babysitters!! One of my good friends taught these girls and suggested I try them out. They are fantastic. Smart, cool, reliable and my daughter loves them.

I might actually have a bit of a social life this month after all.

what happens at the party...

Well the plan was to have it stay at the party, but that didn't quite happen.

You see Gracie and I were in Ottawa over the weekend to celebrate my nephew's first birthday. We had a ball. Her cousin, or the boy with every toy imaginable, is a lot of laughs. And his monkey-themed party, complete with all the trimmings was every one year old's dream.

Since it was a special occasion all the rules went out the window. No afternoon nap, eating way too many fruit kebobs, even eating cake, and staying up hours past bedtime. I don't think Gracie has had that much fun - ever. Smiling, giggling and so much attention, it was pure bliss. We decided we should get her a season's pass to "Rubyland" for her birthday. (Ruby's the dog - and Gracie adores her.)

But after all the toys, the treats, the cake, the dog and the attention the party weekend had to came to an end. Happily exhausted we flew back to Toronto.

We thought we were in the clear. What happened at the party stayed at the party, just like Grandpa's card said. But then the unexpected happened. First to Gracie, then to me. It would have been okay, but Daddy's smart.

Gracie got sick on Monday. Lethargic, feverish and just not herself. Kinda like a hangover. Then on Tuesday I was out with a twenty four hour bug. The jig was up. We had to confess everything to Daddy, especially since we passed on the flu to him today. Uh oh.

But now that the sickness is pretty much out of all of our systems, I think it is fair to say it was worth it.

one year ago

Happy birthday W. J. One year ago today you had us all in a panic. You little trickster. We weren't expecting you until mid-January, but you had other plans. Big plans.

The day before you were born, your Mom wasn't feeling so good. We should have known something was up, but we missed all of your hints. I even told your Mom to go to the U2 concert. Good thing she didn't take my advice!

Gramma called early Saturday morning to tell us your Mom and Dad were at the hospital. She said you were on your way. I couldn't believe it. It was too early, way too early for you to come. She was worried. So was I. Even Uncle M. was nervous.

I called your Mom. I just needed to hear her voice and make sure she was okay. She was so brave. While she was talking to me she had a contraction. Wow, this was real, you were on your way.

After hearing that, I had to be there. So we hopped in the car. It was the quickest drive to Ottawa. We didn't speak. We didn't even listen to the radio. We just drove. There was snow and sleet and we couldn't even use our phone. Finally, just outside the city limits we got the news, you had arrived. Everyone was fine. Big sigh of relief. First we were relieved, then happy and then so excited to meet you.

I ran up to your Mom's room when we got to the hospital. I was a bit nervous, I didn't know what to expect. Your parents looked fabulous. I have never seen them look so happy. They were over the moon. Your Dad told me your Mom was great and that she made your delivery look easy.

They gave us all the details of your arrival. What was your big hurry bud? Only three pushes and you were out! Your Dad said you must have big plans because you were in such a rush to meet everyone.

Next it was time to meet you. The NCIU is a serious place W.J. Nurses, doctors, worried parents, lots of machines beeping and of course the tiniest, most special babies. But none as special as you. Your Dad pointed you out and we just stood there looking at you. We didn't even talk. I couldn't believe I was looking at my nephew. Finally a boy in our family! I was so proud, and full of love. Now W.J. you are the cutest, most handsome, beautiful boy but you were pretty banged up when we first met. Your body was all newish- pink but your head was purple. Yep purple. Good thing you were so adorable, that it didn't matter.

Before I left I told you, you were a luckiest, little boy because you had such a special Mom and Dad. They were already head over heals in love with you. And so was I.

I love you W.J.

nanny 911

I had a terrible sleep last night. And the night before and well ever since I came back from my parents house. Ahh I wish I was still there. Anyway the reason I'm not sleeping is STRESS. I have made the decision to go back to work. There I said it.

So now comes the gruelling task of deciding on childcare. It makes me tense up just typing childcare. Way back when Gracie was just a few months old I called a daycare and put her on a list. It was ridiculous. We had just visited friends and their new babe and they were told us about this great daycare, rated one of the top in the city that their daughter was going to. WHAATTT? So the stress started way back then.

Flash forward, I toured the daycare a few weeks ago. I must admit, it was lovely. Homey. Clean. Safe. And the owner was wonderful. But as nice as it was, it just didn't work for me. When she explained how scheduled the children were, I had made my decision. What if Gracie doesn't want to go play with blocks from 10 to 10:15 and go outside from 10 - 10:45? What if its a snowy day and she's feeling cozy and wants to read books all day? Or if she has lots of energy and wants to play at the park for an extra half hour? Why does she need a school-like or worse work-like schedule at 12 months? She is most likely spend the better part of her youth in school, so why start so soon. I don't want her to burn out by the time she hits grade one! Okay enough of my rant.....so daycare isn't for me. Enough said.

So option number two.....the nanny. I was once the women who said I would never leave my child with a nanny. Well I've changed my tune a bit. My husband and I are considering nanny sharing with our friends. The great, top rated daycare didn't work for them either. We thought we had it all figured out. A nanny was becoming available on our street. I had seen this women in the neighbourhood and thought it would be simple. Unfortunately the nanny just got a job as a nurse - great for her, bad for us. She did suggest her cousin, but the interview was disastrous. The cousin looked 12 and didn't even talk to the children. I could go on and on with the horrible details but it's too depressing. So after that episode, the four of us decided to get serious. We had a big chat about what we wanted, needed and basically what we wouldn't put up with.

Yesterday my husband, Gracie and I met two potential nannies. I must admit I was impressed. Both loved children, were kind and are eager to work. I feel a bit better about the process now. But boy is this difficult. I know new parents go through this all the time, but it's very nerve-wracking.

Any suggestions or personal stories are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

happy birthday gramma

Today is my mother's birthday. I won't reveal her age, but she's young and she looks even younger. She's a beauty. Great skin, great hair, great figure, great style. And that's just what you see.

She's also smart, funny, silly and kind. But I think the best thing about her is that she takes care in all she does. And I mean everything. From making gold angel wings for my grade three Christmas concert (when everyone else had silver), planting the prettiest window boxes, painting my living room and kitchen when I was pregnant to taking care of a sick friend, ahhh the list is never-ending. She always takes time to make things special. And we are all lucky to have her.

Have a wonderful birthday Mom. I love you.


oh and Gracie sends a special la, la, la for you........xoxo

this is happiness

driving home from Baba's house
good song on the radio
snow falling

I never want to leave.

tick tock

Two months, eight weeks, 60 days...the countdown has officially begun.

Two months used to feel like forever, like remember when you were a kid and you had to wait two months for Christmas or your birthday. And in university a two month deadline was an eternity. Or that feeling in January of two more months of winter (I actually love that feeling - but you know what I mean).

Before Gracie, when I was working two week vacations were luxurious. One week heavenly. Hell I felt refreshed after a long weekend!

And of course time does fly when you are having fun, but time has taken on a whole new meaning these last ten and a half months.

15 days - amount of time Gracie was in the hospital, it felt like forever

3 months - sleepless nights felt like a blur, what is time? 3 am wasn't that much different from 3:00 pm

2 - 5 days - between Gracie's weigh in appointments - it took forever for her to gain a pound

teething time - way too long to little Gracie

6- 7pm - witching hour during the week of teething - felt like an eternity until Daddy came home and Gracie fell asleep

Thanksgiving weekend - fun, fun, fun.....but sadly was over in a blink

10 am - morning nap, super short hour, never long enough to cram in laundry, blogging, shower, well everything

Time, where does it go and how do I seem to waste so much of it? I'm scheduled to go back to work in two months. This stresses me out. I wish I could just hit pause.

walk this way

I had the best time Tuesday morning.

All bundled up, vanilla latte in hand, Gracie and I met the Moms in the City gang in the lobby of the Sheraton Centre for a walking tour. From there we made our way through the downtown core checking out the sky scrapers. It was so cool. I drive downtown all the time, but never get a chance to really take in the art deco design. Who knew there were so many interesting little nooks and crannies? I learned so much.

Picture this - a small group of strollers making our way through the hectic downtown sidewalks. I loved the contrast of us amongst the busy, stressed business men and women. I'm sure many of them are too focused on their cell phones and blackberries, rushing to meetings to notice the beauty of the lobby, ceiling or windows of their buildings. A few of them actually stopped to listen to our guide which was cool.

These walking tours have been the best "mother thing" other than blogging that I've done. I'm not much of a joiner. Actually no, I'm a lousy joiner. But Mom's in the City really have come up with a great activity for moms and their babies. It's so refreshing to do something adult with your baby.

At the beginning there is the small talk introduction,"how old is your little one, name, how do you like your stroller", but once the tour starts, there's very little baby talk. Not that there is anything wrong with baby talk but sometimes I get sick of the what's your baby doing, eating, sleeping conversations. That's the beauty of these tours. The guide is doing most of the talking about grownup things like design, architecture and history. Ahh, wonderful. I would do this tour even if I didn't have a baby.

Can't wait for the tour of Chinatown.

one fine day

I rely on our car way too much. Before I had Gracie I took the ttc way more than I do now. Actually that's a lie, I never take the ttc these days. So yesterday morning when my husband took the car into the shop I was kinda at a loss. Lame I know.

I needed to get groceries, what if I need to go...um where? Where did I really need to go? What happened to walking? Now I take my daughter for walks all the time, but I rarely ever walk somewhere instead of driving. So yesterday we put an end to our gas guzzling, air polluting ways and walked everywhere.

So off we went, opting to take a new route. Wow, there are so many things to see in my neighbourhood. I was so inspired the time and effort people took in sprucing up their front porches. Who knew so many people paint their front doors yellow?

And really I have all I need within a two mile radius - grocery stores, organic grocer, coffee shops, drug store and lots of great little shops and restaurants. Hmm where should we go today.....

the 13th

If a black cat crosses my path, I'll go the other way. I never walk down wheelchair ramps. And don't even think about opening an umbrella inside if you are near me. Yep, I'm superstitious. Always have been. Not in a huge, crippling sort of way but enough to make me do certain things. My dad and my sister are too. So Friday the 13th isn't a great day in my books. My husband and I were going to fly to Montreal for the weekend, but the idea of flying on that date didn't work for me. I'm sure everything would have been fine, but why risk it and be worried?

But yesterday turned out to be a good day, really good in fact. It actually started Thursday night with the cold weather and threat of flurries. I love snow. I mean really love snow. I was wishing we were the ones that got hit with the storm instead of Buffalo. Snow just puts me in a good mood. Call me crazy, but I am a northerner.

So back to lucky Friday the 13th. We started out early (every second Friday is cleaning lady day - god I do love her!!!) She is the sweetest, loveliest woman and Gracie adores her. She even brought Gracie an adorable gift - jeans with leopard print bows and a snuggling warm sweater with the same details. Too kind. Anyway, we got out of the house around 8:30 and dropped daddy off at work. We usually make our way to exercise class, but this morning we made a trip to the Beach. We drove around a bit then got a great parking spot right in front of Kids at Home. I love this shop - so friendly and helpful. We had to pick up a footmuff for our stroller. What a great thing - and the perfect solution to little Gracie refusing to wear socks, shoes or slippers. They installed it for us and then we were off to Starbucks. All bundled up, we strolled around the park and hit a few shops.

Next home for a nap. Ahh nothing like a clean house to put a smile on your face. A bit of bad luck did come our way. My cousin called from St. Mikes' hospital emergency room - nothing too serious, but we raced there to make sure she was okay. Luckily she was and so we bought her lunch and drove her home.

Then good luck struck. Inside my mailbox was the cell phone my other cousin lost two days earlier. Some kind soul (there are many, many good people in this city) returned it. She was thrilled.

Cousin A. then called and offered to watch Gracie. Yippeee, a night out! I didn't have much time to get ready, but hey I wasn't about to turn down an opportunity like this. We headed to the House on Parliament. Great spot. Two of our favourite bartenders from our younger days now work there. It was packed, but we managed to get two spots at the bar. Nothing like a pint and a burger with your favourite guy.

Oh and the cherry on top - the Tigers won again. Maybe the 13th isn't so bad. On second thought, I shouldn't push my luck.

thanks for the laughs

What a weekend. I haven't packed that much into three days in a long time. Here are some of the highlights....

1. nephew crawling around shirtless wearing my daughter's furry, lamb hat (she wouldn't wear it, he wouldn't take it off)
2. converting front room into bedroom then dining room - because we invited two extra guests for dinner
3. watching the Tigers beat the Yankees at home - yippeee!!!!
4. Grandpa and Grandma babysitting the kids Saturday night
5. Mom rolling out pie pastry with a beer bottle because she couldn't find my rollingpin
6. drinks at Czechoski, my husband and my sister doing Jagger impersonations...the "mick off" will continue at Christmas

We had a blast. Shopping, cooking, eating, drinking and laughing. All my favourite things with all my favourite people. I have so much to be thankful for.

But now it's over. And it sucks. I get so excited, preparing for the visit, getting everything ready and then it's over in a flash. I think anticipation is the purest form of happiness. (but more on that later)

The last two days I've been really bummed out. I think Gracie is too. No playing with her cousin, no Grandma and Grandpa to cuddle her, no auntie and Uncle to laugh with. Yep this sucks. I've got to get out of this funk. I wanna move home. Boo hoo.

Can't wait for Christmas.

checklist

I'm almost ready for my houseguests. Good thing because they're arriving this afternoon. My house has never looked so good - pretty mums on the porch, artwork hung and straightened, slipcovers washed, laundry done, fresh new soap in the bathroom, basically everything is neat and organized. I love it! Why don't I live like this? My husband and I laugh that the only time our place looks this great is when we have people over. Crazy I know.

Just a few more things on my checklist. I've had about ten to do lists going this week. I keep writing new ones. It somehow makes me feel more organized. Here's the latest and last......

1. Check in with Mom, to make sure I have everything.
2. Call L. make sure I haven't forgotten anything.
3. Buy treats for R, the retriever that looks like Candice Bergen- no kidding.
4. Tell hubby that R. is coming too - yikes forgot to mention that.
5. Fresh flowers.

Ahh that should do it. Oh wait, buy a special gift for my parents to thank them for hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the first 32 years of my life.

Hope you have a fabulous weekend. Happy Thanksgiving.

thanksgiving dinner - help!

I'm hosting this year. Yikes, I'm way over my head, but super excited.

Every year I make the trek up north (and I don't mean to cottage country - though I did that one year and it was fabulous). I'm talking northern Ontario, where fall is picture-perfect, the air is clean and the people are warm. Ahhhh. Thanksgiving is my favourite weekend of the year.

This year we're mixing it up and spending the weekend in the city. I've never done this. We've invited my parents and my sister's family. My sister's family, I love the sound of that. My nephew, the the cutest boy I know, was born three weeks before my daughter. Oh and I'm sure R. the most beautiful golden retreiver in the world is coming too. So that makes five people and a dog visiting the three of us. Fun!

So I've got my work cut out for me. I just realized they will be here in a week and I've got a million things to do. Help!!! Where do I order a turkey? Am I too late? Petite gourmand, or anyone else that likes to entertain, do you have any fabulous suggestions to knock their socks off? Please help. I want this to be special.

Oh I may have bitten off more than I can chew......